Does your child refuse to listen to what you are saying? Are your simple requests and instructions ignored? Do you frequently endure frightening temper-tantrums from your angry child? These three easy tips will help you get control back and put a stop to the pain of raising an over-angry youngster.
All parents of toddlers have experienced vicious child temper tantrums at some point. It’s a loud,
frustrating, and sometimes very frightening situation for everyone present, and afterwards you’re left wondering how on earth it started and how you can avoid it next time. To you it’s completely obvious why your child should stop being so angry, listen to what you are saying, and to do what you want her to do, but for your child it’s not quite as logical.
It's a familiar scene for almost all parents: You need to be somewhere and your child needs her clothes on, but she refuses to get dressed no matter how much persuasion you use. You angrily order her to get dressed but she just will not do it. Unless you are extremely fortunate you are stuck in a stand-off of epic proportions, which only ends when you force her clothes onto her amidst her furious and tearful shouts and screams.
Once you start losing your patience and getting angry in scenarios like this your child learns to attach an unpleasant emotion to the act of getting dressed. She does this without even knowing that it’s happening, but the next time you’re in the same position you will find her equally uncooperative. She ignores your simple request, which then becomes a stern order, but she still will not do what she should. The order becomes a frustrated shout, but still no luck. Now you are entering the dreaded temper-tantrum stage, and it looks like it’s going to get nasty again!
No matter how much you love your child you will find that her stubbornness, her demands, and her flat-out refusal to cooperate with the most basic daily tasks will make your blood boil. You’ll often think that she is the one in charge; that she has control over you, and you are merely a slave to her demands because you are scared of her fierce temper. Don’t worry, this is a very common situation for modern parents, but it’s also something that you can change when you know a few simple techniques.
For young children logic doesn’t really affect their decision making. It’s not about sensible reasoning for them, it’s all about emotions. In simple terms it could be described as what makes them feel good versus what makes them feel bad. They want something because they have attached a pleasant emotion to it, and they refuse to do something because they have attached a negative emotion to it. Knowing this is one thing, applying it to your situation is another thing completely.
Decades of research coupled with experienced parents providing information on what worked for them has given us plenty of solid advice in the past, but now you can learn new parenting techniques that will work for almost any child. You can stop your child’s temper from flaring up every time if you know a few easy-to-use methods and can apply them to any situations that arise. Here are three excellent tips that will help you put an end to those horrible moments of child fury:
Tip 1: Stop shouting! Yelling doesn’t help unless there is immediate danger. Your child will either ignore you or shout back.
Tip 2: Your child is an emotional creature and responds best to positive emotions. Try to attach positive feelings to mundane tasks.
Tip 3: Distraction can be a good thing. If a tantrum starts consider subtle ways to distract your child and approach the situation from a more positive angle.
Your situation should improve fast once you start applying these simple bits of advice to your everyday situations. Almost every child, just like almost every adult, has moments when anger is difficult to control. With the right mind-set and the right tools you can begin to make changes that will not only benefit you, but will greatly benefit your child in the future.
