Do As I Say and As I Do

Children learn to imitate at a very young age.  It's how they learn to behave, care for themselves, develop new skills, and communicate with others. From their earliest moments, children watch you closely and begin to pattern their own behavior and beliefs after yours. The example you set becomes a permanent model that will influence and often shape their attitudes and actions for the rest of their life.

Consistently demonstrating habits of character, such as gratitude, responsibility, integrity, unity and service will help build a strong sense of security and self-esteem. Additional your child will begin to feel more confident and more connected at home, school and in the community. He or she will start to feel like a leader. 

So, how can you model habits of character? Here are three simple ideas:

-Take care of yourself. It's also important to take good care of yourself.  When you focus on what is best for your child, it can become easy to neglect your own needs. Your child is counting on you physically and emotionally, so it's imperative that you model for your child that taking care of yourself helps you to take care of him or her as well as your entire family.  This also shows your child that not only do you love them and the rest of the family, but you love yourself as well.  Whether you treat yourself to a night out or start your own business, you are teaching your child that you are not only a parent of character, but a person of character.

-Nurture relationships. Whether your spouse, family member or friends, it's important to nurture relationship.  Let your child see you communicate in a positive and healthy manner with others. Express gratitude and show love and affection for one another so your child can begin to learn early on what healthy relationships should be like. 

-Own up. Avoid making excuses for mishaps, delays and errors in judgment. Rather, own up to mistakes when you make them, and take responsibility for being open and host about these mistakes. When you take responsibility for your words and actions, you reinforce messages of integrity, trust and honest. You reinforce messages  - and habits – character.

It's important to be the person you want your child to be.  (This holds true for any relationship you have.) When you consistently demonstrate habits of character with your child, you will soon see him or her patterning many behaviors after your own.  You will see your child do as you do and as you say.

© 2009 Julie Watson Smith