Asmodeus

“Bring in the prisoner!”Chained in bright gold shackles etched with the sacred name of YHWH terminating in effigies of specters and demons is a man of not so uncommon stature or bearing. That is beyond the column of soldiers that have escorted him in. With the safety in numbers on their side, the were terse with their eyes. Never falling upon anything long enough to discern a grape from a mountain lion. But you got this feeling that each one of them was to become a grape for the lion. So when Solomon gave the order for them to leave bewilderment gave way to comfort as the column responded to their sergeant’s curt call and filed out.

The man with the shackles prominent in front of him hung his head low and shrugged as a laugh escaped the corner of his lips that had been built up in the upper parts of his chest that was held especially to be released during these moments of irony like the radiator that held on too long.“ I see you bend your knee to the ineffable name of God!”The man with the shackles of Iron looked to the sky with his head tilted sideways with his hands behind his back reaching for the ground. His hips gave way to a contrapposto and he looked down into the eye of the great poet of the Song of Songs.

“Are you not going to speak! Foul demon. Befouler of Matrimonial bliss. Humble yourself in my presence.”

This demon in wooden shackles scratched his nose and contemplated his withering host. Keeping an eye on the son of David, he sat in one motion on top of crossed legs.

“Asmodeus, lover of Lilith and patron of all evil hosts that scour the night. “

“Don’t mention her name please, it gives me a headache! Four months in a cave with that woman is enough to drive anyone batty. Some how I think batcaves in the future will become popular in the west, with another Adam who goes well, batty.”

“What are you talking about host of nocturnal emissions.”

“TV! You know your favorite fan will be a demon from Israel who will sleep with more women than one could ever comprehend. One that has a peculiar taste for platform shoes and spitting blood and fire when he is not insulting educated women on the radio.”

“What!”

“Never mind. What do you want anyway!” said the man with shackles on his feet. “Befouler of matrimony? I have been known to ease the pain of continual denial by throwing cold water on ones lungs. Takes the breathe right out of the affair. Sometimes the only way to save a frog from boiling is to turn the temperature all the way up.”

“What!”

“You know that is how the whole Eve thing came about. When they sedated Adam and removed his rib for DNA....”

“DNA?”

“Yes DNA, kind of the father of sperm. Sort of, but I got to keep Lillith occupied and distracted. At first the idea sounded great. Have you ever seen Lillith, who would not take this assignment. See we had to distract her until Adam got over her and bonded with Eve. But after three months, in between sex and copulation, I made the mistake of striking a conversation. My head is still splitting. ‘If it don’t please me to please you, it ain’t happening!’ and all. That laugh, I invented fellatio so I would not have to listen to it. I do not know if half of the demons were my agony of listening to her or her twisted psyche we gave birth to in that cave. I really like people, I never intended in opening that pandora’s box. We should of sewed her up before I plunged deep within for hours upon days on end. From that moment forward, I swore I would do whatever I could to break up unhappy marriages to anyone who might of ever aggravated their spouse as much as she aggravated me. No one deserves that. As in Latin, demon means mental blockade. I see more myself as a liberator. After I get into your relationship, there is no way but to be liberated from what ails you.

”Solomon looked down in surprise to find the golden shackles upon his own wrists.“

What bounds you old man. Is Sheba going back to Ethiopia? What happened to ‘Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine’ ?”

“That is my own affair, now set me free in the name of....”

“Ineffable, I know. Ok. Why do you think my nephew could help you? He gave her that ring with his name on it. But you think that kept him from sleeping with those woman disguised as cows and swans. Imagine he got that cows cave mistaken for hers. Imagine his surprise when those two women got hold of him after their heart to heart. Samael, poison tongue! Is that the ineffable name of he that should not be named. I am what I am! It sounded better coming from Popeye! Bad taste and all, handing down his lovers to his son.”

Perplexed at this conversation which seemed to go nowhere. How was he King of the Jews ever to get an appropriate tabernacle built to house those 15 commandments. Granted no one knew more than 10 since Moses dropped that tablet, but his followers swept it up any hows. Now it sits in the ark with the rest, occasionally giving those entering or leaving the tent a nasty static shock. Some say that Sheba was leaving because she blamed it for kinking her hair after she spent fortunes on spikenard to have it straighten. He needed this demon to build him a great temple. Especially with negotiations with Tyre being sour.“

So what binds you old man. Why did you seek a stranger’s bed? You think a queen in her own right would tolerate such actions. How about your own heart. Is not the guilt building even now? Free yourself old man before you build any housing for anything so sacred. The builders hands must be pure or else the axe and adze slips from ones hand into the leg.”

“How do you see so much, foul demon?”

“Demon, look who is blocking the truth from his mind! The future is plain for me as dates that linger on your tongue from the morrow. No you thought you had power over me by knowing my name, but I have many to be and many gone by. Some lost and some on the lips of many. Of those to be will be Elijah and Jesus. Before Melchizedek and originating in Christ from above in the Plemora and not below. I sat at the tree when Eve was given the fruit and played counsel weighed on two sides. I will come in the end to break up the bride from her discontent of tedium and boredom that runs to apathy into malice. The Alpha and the Omega. I helped screw things up I can at least help fix it. You laughed at me crying at a wedding when the bridegroom was to die within the week and a man arguing over a pair of shoes when he would only tread on earth for no more than seven days. But you want me to build a temple that will fall twice. To build something I will tear down myself. Do not look to external praise, look within and free yourself. As you see I have. I suggest you do the same.”

With that the demon disappeared in nothing no more dramatic than a desert breeze. Leaving the King bound behind.

In his place appeared a man recently from Tyre named Hiram looking bewildered with a trowel in his hand and a helmet on his head with an acquisition for a whole lot of cedar in the other.