Grudges Are Injurious To Health

Holding grudges makes a person bitter. Most of the time, grudges are born out of anger and hurt. They are the negative feelings one carries even when the hurting incident or conversation is over. Grudges are not good for health because they infect the heart and pollute the mind. Further, they murder relationships. They should be thrown into the dust bin, otherwise the grudge-holder's mind festers with feelings of martyrdom or revenge.

A natural reaction to holding a grudge is either to hit out and hurt the person as one is hurt or to think of oneself as suffering like a martyr. Both reactions are unhealthy.

They are bad for the person who generates the grudge because the receiver may hurt and be filled with a desire for revenge. This can negatively hurt the person who carries the ill will.

Life is short, so why should we spoil it by holding grudges? The way out is to control anger and the desire for revenge. As anger festering within, leads to harbouring of grudges, anger should be curbed.

This is essential as anger leads to animosity and kills love which is the oxygen of relationships. That can be done if we accept and tolerate and have the intention of making, rather than breaking a relationship. So, we should learn to forget and be ready to forgive. All one needs is a large heart full of love, then we can heal not only ourselves but the other person too. It is true that in life anything can happen. A brother can become an enemy. Grudges imprint on your mind the possibility that members of a family can take revenge on another family member.

They can develop hate into an art by plotting and planning revenge. But who thinks of the repercussions on the receiver and the giver?

Actually, holding a grudge means that the person is not loving, giving and forgiving, but is taking, hating and wreaking revenge. A way to help out is to show trust instead of hatred in movies and television serials.

If an outsider is trying to poison the mind of a family member, then the character should be made to speak the lines, "How could my own family member have said this? No, I don't believe it. Even if the actions of that person point to proving your point, I will not believe it." And it is best to show the character going to that person and asking, "Did you say this? If you didn't, then I know that I can trust you. If you did, then I think that there must be a reason. Come on, tell me. This can be sorted out."

But then how will millions of viewers remain glued to their TV sets to increase ratings? So, family members are shown plotting to hurt and destroy each other with hatred, which is a strong and self-destroying emotion. And this has pathetic repercussions. Probably, we can excuse the serial writer as he has a long serial to pen. For the writer it will be enough that the character will suffer in the end and the person who carries the grudge will repent later and so the moral will finally be that holding grudges is bad.

But by then the damage would have been done. Impressionable minds would have already accepted the suggestion that wreaking vengeance is the right thing.

No one likes to be told that they are wrong. Very few put up with or accept criticism. Moreover, viewers get a surfeit of sermons on religious channels and in religious programmes.

Without obvious preaching, the message must be given that one should live with faith and trust. Moreover, one should curb negativity and try and act in a positive manner. Right in the beginning, the person should think, "Probably the person had a reason to act and talk as he did. Let me give the person the benefit of the doubt." Then enmity and revenge which are the result of grudges will not mar the life of a person. So, we should live with faith and trust and never be ready to believe the worst of people. Even if something negative has been done by them, it is best to forgive. When we are filled with love and understanding, life will be more harmonious.