How to solve relationship problems.

If you value your relationship, you need to make better decisions and take specific actions to make them work. 

Here are some ideas to help you avoid or solve relationship problems. 

• Understanding personal values. 

What are your personal values? Misunderstandings and conflicts happen when your values conflict with those of others and when expectations are not met.  

You can let others know what your values are by telling them about your ideals. You can find out about others by asking questions and observing their decisions and actions. 

Knowing what’s important to others and yourself will avoid breaking each other’s rules and unnecessary conflicts. 

• Learn to listen. 

People want to be heard and appreciated. When you listen attentively without interrupting and probing, you are showing courtesy and respect.  

Give time and make yourself available. Allow people to talk and tell you things; the books they have read, the things they did and how they feel. 

Listening to others will also give you the opportunity to know how a person thinks about his world, values and expectations.  

• Show kindness. 

Other than listening, you can show other acts of kindness. Smiling is the simplest act to show friendliness.  

Make others feel your warmth by offering help and kind words. Acknowledge their talents and achievements. Give praise and appreciate their efforts. 

Show it in your tone of voice, your posture and your actions. 

• Avoid arguments. Remove ego and pride. 

In an argument, each person wants to prove a point and defend her opinions. Using force, threats and intimidations rouse resentments and ill feelings that will then cause more relationship problems. In the end, no one actually wins and benefits. 

Remove your ego and look at the situation from a different point of view. It does not mean that you are submitting but altering your perception. You can alter by asking questions or break the issues apart. It will enable him to see it differently too. 

Forgive people. They could have been ignorant or unaware. If you have made a mistake, admit and apologize sincerely.  

• Give more than you take. 

Don’t wait for others to give and show their care. You can give your love and appreciation even when others are not treating you right.  

Contribute your time and effort without expecting anything in return. When you do good deeds for others, you feel more worthy. 

• Learn to ask and to share your feelings. 

Ask for what you want and expect but don’t demand. People can’t read your mind and understand your hints. Make your request lightly and with a smile.   

Communicate and share your thoughts and feelings with them. Open up and allow them to understand you. 

• Develop the trust. 

Trust is the foundation of relationships. Do what you say you will do. Keep to your promises. Once people trust you, you can influence and persuade because they will listen and pay attention.