Step One to Changing Your Internal Representations – Distancing

None of us sees the world as it truly is. Rather, we see the world on the screen of our mind’s eye, with many alterations and modifications.

Put simply, we edit. We choose to focus on one aspect of an experience and not another.

Our images may be still or moving, framed or panoramic, accompanied by music or in silence. They may have smells and tastes, or we may choose to focus on a particular physical sensation.

In fact, we can imagine almost anything, and we can remember past events in any way we choose. We can imagine anything we want, and we can remember past events in any way we choose!

Since we are free to imagine the object of our phobia any way that we want to, we can imagine it as being an exaggerated, insurmountable horror or we can imagine it as a very normal part of our everyday lives. We can even imagine the object of our phobia as being humorous and enjoyable!

You can change how you imagine or think of the object of your phobia!

So how do you actually do it?

Step 1: Distancing

Since it may be difficult to directly think about or imagine the object of our phobia (remember, phobias cause physical and physiological reactions in the body), we use a technique called “observing the observer.”

This simple technique will enable you to put distance between yourself and the image we will be editing.

In a “direct image”, you imagine yourself directly experiencing something, such as having a direct interaction with the object of your phobia.

In an “observer” mode, you see yourself from a distance having the interaction or experience. This gives you distance and perspective.

In “observing the observer,” you take a third position in which you observe the observer. You do not actually watch the events taking place directly at all!

Imagine yourself observing another you, who are in turn watching the events. You never see the events directly.

When you are observing the observer, you are not observing the events!

The ability to “observe the observer” is the key to working with images of objects and experiences to which you have phobic reactions.

There are many ways to create such an image in your mind.

The most effective ways involve using the image of an opera stage, sports arena, or any other image where spectators are involved.

For example, you could see yourself riding in a blimp above a sports arena, observing another you in the bleachers, who are in turn watching events unfold on the field below.

You could see yourself watching TV in your living room. On the TV you can see the NASA control center in Houston, where another you is watching events unfold in space that are not being shown on your TV.

The key here is to create sufficient distance between you and the object of your phobia so that you can work with it without being directly affected by it.

It may be useful to have a friend guide you in your visualization, or you may find it easy to do for yourself.