What Do You Say If Your Ex Calls?

So you've been through a breakup and you've decided you want your ex back.

You've probably tried a number of ways to get your ex to change their mind. You might have rung them a few times, asked to meet so you can share your feelings. You might have sent texts or emails going over what the break up was about and why your ex needs to see you in a new light.

These are some of the worst moves you can make.

The trick is to pull away, have no contact. Make your ex miss you by leaving them wondering what you're up to and wondering why you're not contacting them.

If there's still an emotional connection there then it's inevitable that your ex will eventually contact you so you need to have your game plan ready.

No matter what you do, if your ex calls, DON'T talk about the break up, don't rehash things. Don't talk about your feelings or about the relationship or what went wrong.

Act happy to hear from them. Seem interested in them and enquire how they've been. Talk a few minutes keeping things really light but cut the conversation short even if it feels counter-intuitive. Sure hear them out if they rang to talk and if they want to talk about the relationship, keep it simple and keep detached. Don't get into a deep conversation. Initial contact is not the time to rehash the issues.

Tell your ex that you're really busy but how about they give you a call in the next few weeks.

Your ex is going to be left wondering what's happening in your life that's got you so busy and start to wonder if you've moved on.

You know on some level that they're still interested because they rang you. Even if it was just to check in to find out if you have moved on.

If your ex is worth getting back then do all you can to stop yourself wanting to rush back into connecting and contact. Showing that you're happy is going to remind your ex what they liked about you when they first met you.

Leaving them guessing is going to eat away at them and they'll be really keen to contact you again.

Keep that first conversation light.