How I Got My Boyfriend Back - Why Men Leave, and How You Can Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Most recently, one of my best friends, Roxy, cried to me over the phone about breaking up with Jason, her boyfriend of one year. Things were going great - Jason had just bought her a car, and he even began hinting about a proposal. Then, about a month ago, Roxy came over to my house at 9:30 at night without even calling me first. When she showed up at my door with tears streaming down her face and mascara running all over her blush, I figured something horrible must have happened. Something horrible did happen. She had just gotten off the phone with Jason, who told her he wasn't comfortable with the direction their relationship was heading. In short, he broke up with her, in not so many words. Roxy was crushed. She had no idea what she did wrong or why Jason wanted to break up with her so quickly when she thought things were going smoothly. I have to admit I was even a little confused. Jason and Roxy seemed like the perfect couple whenever they were together. As Kanye West would say, they weren't meant to be - they just happened, and they happened very well.After I got her calmed down and able to speak coherently (it's amazing what a cup of instant Chai Tea mixed with a little milk does to one's nerves), I asked her to back up a few months and explain some of Jason's recent behavior. Was he going through changes at work? Did he take a cut in pay? Was he worried about being able to provide for himself and for Roxy if they married?Then I asked her how she might have changed in the past few months. Did she gain weight? Was she letting herself go? Was she ignoring Jason's needs in lieu of her own? Was she "too busy" with work or shopping to fit in enough with Jason?That got her thinking a lot. Yes, she decided, it was probably more her than him. Although there were a few shakes going on where Jason worked, he wasn't laid off and he didn't have to take a pay cut, so he was in fine condition financially, so that probably wasn't the problem. She turned her sights on her own schedule and realized there might have been some things that Jason interpreted as red flags in the relationship.We put our heads together, and here's what we came up with:1. Roxy just got a new job, and her stress level spiked a little along with it. Unfortunately, this also caused her to gain some weight and abandon her workout routine. I reminded her that if guys start to see women letting themselves go, this might be a bad omen of what's to come if they continue with the relationship.2. Roxy remembered brushing Jason off and ignoring some of his phone calls a few weeks prior to the breakup. She admitted she could've taken the time to answer them instead of continuing with what she had been doing.3. I asked Roxy how she dressed, if she did her hair and makeup around Jason, and how she'd been treating him. She described her typical attire when going out with Jason: pajama-style sweat pants with a zipped hoodie, her favorite band T-shirt and jeans, or a pair of flip flops with some ratty jeans and an old sweater - a terrible lineup, I told her.Regarding her hair and makeup, well, she admitted she tended not to bother if she wasn't going to work. After all, isn't makeup expensive? And it takes for-ev-er to do a nice hairstyle!Well, I told her, it is, but then how much do you value your relationship? Not that looks are everything, but men know if you're trying to look good for them, and they truly appreciate it. If you look dumpy each time he sees you, he's going to realize sooner or later that you're never going to make an effort to look good just for him. He'll think he's not as important as the people you work with who get to see you in nice clothes with your hair and makeup done, and he just might dump you.I figured at this point it was time for me to break out my printout copy of "The Magic of Making Up." It was kind of torn around the edges and I think a few pages have some highlighter marks on it, but it's been used so much it was obvious I ran right to it whenever there was a relationship problem, either in my own life or that of one of my friends.I consulted the more "woman-oriented" portion of the book, and confirmed my suspicions. Yes, Roxy was slipping in her relationship with Jason. I told her which patterns she should think about breaking (and not starting) if she was going to get back with Jason.1. She needed to start looking her best, regardless of where she was going.2. She needed to determine what it was about her character that made Jason love her so much in the first place3. She needed to start behaving the same way she did when Jason was first attracted to her.4. She needed to not text him, call him, or run over to his house all the time during their little "breakup" period. Already she had texted him eight times before coming to my house, and I told her she couldn't get into that habit if she wanted Jason back, which she did.After that I sent her home with my copy of "The Magic of Making Up" in hopes that she would return it when she got back together. Sure enough, three weeks later, she and Jason had worked out their differences. Two nights ago Jason proposed to Roxy. Can you imagine the thrill she experienced? She told me she was so worried about losing him that she followed every single rule in the book to get him back.Well, as you can see, it worked. Roxy found out how to get an ex boyfriend backbefore it was too late to salvage her relationship. She told me she'd have had no idea how to patch things together otherwise.