How to Excite a Woman in Bed

It’s all too easy to focus on the clitoris and forget to pleasure her elsewhere. So while you’re flicking her joy switch, use your other hand to stimulate her vaginal lips and vaginal canal. Slide your middle finger gently inside her as you use your other fingers on her clitoris, or use your thumb if it’s easier. Use the same rhythm on her clitoris that you use inside her and make sure that you give her lips and outer third of her vaginal canal lots of exciting stimulation. 

You’ve Been Rubbing her for Ages and it doesn’t seem to work

The clitoris is a funny old thing – first it’s too sensitive, but then, if you rub it too hard or for too long, it starts to lose sensation. This often happens if you start with a heavy touch, so always build up slowly. With the clitoris, less really is more to start with – using a feather light touch with a well lubricated finger, trace your fingertips gently between her vaginal lips. Then gradually build up the pressure, but watch how she responds to make sure you don’t apply too much. If you’re being too tender, she’ll push against yours and use her own hand over yours to show you how much pressure she needs. Err on the side of gently because too forceful could result in no orgasm at all. Once the clitoris is desensitized, move away completely and focus on something else like her breasts or kissing before coming back to it.

She’s Thrusting at you so you’re trying to match her rhythm

This is a great way to find out what kind of rhythm and pressure she likes if you’re not sure how to bring your woman to orgasm. Simply position your hand and fingers in such a way that your palm is touching her vaginal lips and your fingers are on her clitoris (you’ll have to be lying in-between her legs or low down on one side for this.) Leave your hand there; don’t move it around or push. If she really wants an orgasm, she’ll push against your hand in the way that turns her on – just make sure you keep your hand in the same position. And stay attentive. There’s no greater turn off than a partner who appears to be mentally planning his weekend. Talk to her, tell her how amazing she looks, and she’ll be putty in your hand.

Your Hands move over her body, but she keeps moving away when you get near the top of her Thighs

Dirty fingernails or unwashed hands can give her a bladder infection. Keep your hands and fingernails clean at all times. The way you look after your hands says a lot to her about your overall hygiene.

You can’t find her Clit

Although the clitoris is not equally visible on all women, locating it isn’t difficult; run a finger on the inside of her vaginal lips from the bottom to the top of where they join – that is where you’ll find the clitoris, a small nub of flesh that feels more solid than the surrounding skin. Some people describe it as feeling like a nose, although some women will have one that feels like a small, cooked pea or a big, juicy blueberry.