Single for the holidays? Not a problem with these 5 tips.

Thanksgiving, Christmas- Kwanza. Whatever you celebrate this season, being single doesn’t suck as much as you think. I know how it feels- cruising up to Aunt Sally’s house in an ugly wool sweater, sitting squished at the kid’s table because you didn’t bring a date. I too have been harassed from first to last bite of my turkey by nosey relatives, only to sulk down into my chair and wish I had asked that cute girl from Starbucks to come with me.

Don’t fret my friend, because BEING SINGLE ROCKS, even during the Holidays. Before you even start to think about what you will will do to change your situation, maybe you ought to consider what you won’t do. Look- if you had a choice between sitting home and wallowing in your own self pity, crying into a warm beer watching reruns of “It’s a Wonderful Life”, OR being invited to every party with the explicit goal of meeting someone new, what would you choose? You see, between now and New Years Eve, you could run the gauntlet and still make things happen.

5 Tips for Dating During the Holidays

1. Being single is a good thing. After the turkey has been carved, and Grandma is sipping brandy on the patio, you can relax in peace, knowing that there won’t be anyone around to nag you or whine. You are living the American Dream- YOU ARE FREE! No one to shop for, no one to agonize over, no Mother in law, and no fruitcakes. You can travel where you want, hang out with who you want, and enjoy life as you see fit.
2. Not invited? Get off your ass and host a party. No ones likes to be picked last, so plan your own Holiday party right now. Finally, you can control the guest list, serve your favorite food and drink, and pick something other than “The Chipmunks Christmas” album to spin. To avoid the air of a frat party, invite some of your coupled friends, and encourage everyone you know to bring a friend. As an aside, I’m a huge fan of white-elephant parties.
3. Own every party you attend. Everyone, even the misanthropic secretary with the lazy eye, gets invited to a few parties, so make the most of them. Don’t walk in hoping to be noticed, instead give them a reason to notice you. Wear your favorite designer clothes, get a new haircut, and be confident. How? Talk with authority, position yourself at the head of the table, and sit up straight. This is your room, and you control it.
4. Have a snappy comeback ready. We’ve all been asked the awkward questions, questions that make us cringe. “When are you getting married?”, and “What ever happened to ____?” You already know someone is going to pry, so you might as well punish them for their insolence. How you ask? Answer questions with questions. Respond with, “Why do you ask”, and “Would you like to attend a wedding or something?” I’ve often told horrible lies about girl’s I’ve dated being mauled by a pack of wolves or something to that effect, if only to slam those who would dare question by dating status.
5. You aren’t missing anything. Most people in relationships aren’t happy. Here is an experiment you can do- go to the mall. See how couples stroll together like two convicts on the chain gang? Notice those vacant stares on their face, the dull, monotone colors, the flat dialogue. This isn’t exactly all it’s cracked up to be is it? You’ve been given a chance to do things right the first time, and meet someone who you can be happy with. When you see most people in dead end relationships, and miserable lives, remember that your freedom is a gift, not a burden.

Just like you, I’ve spent Holidays alone, wallowing in pity. If you follow this advice, then you can avoid that, and embrace your situation. Whenever you get down, just think about those people at the mall, buying gifts that nobody wants, for people that they can barely tolerate, and most certainly don’t love. This is your chance to do things right, to meet the right person, and to finally be happy. If you have any questions about specifics, send me an e-mail.