Why Men Cheat

Our relationships expert, Diane Fisher lists the top 10 reasons why men cheat:

1. Because they had the option

2. It boosts their ego

3. You grow apart

4. You argue a lot

5. They have fallen out of love

6. Your sex life stinks

7. To get revenge

8. It’s new, different and exciting

9. To see if they can get away with it

10. Because you have allowed it in the past

But the relationship expert adds that the reasons may be more complex than those outlined above, or may include two or more reasons.

Infidelity is a very tough hurdle to get over in a relationship. It breaks one of the very foundations of a partnership – that of trust. And it's very hard to keep secret – a woman will often know if her man's cheating on her.

Nicholas (we assume is his alias), a 43-year-old man who's been in a long-term relationship with his girlfriend for six years, commented on our dating blog and says he's cheated twice on his lover. "Once it was just a one night stand while I was away on business. It meant nothing to me and I'm not sure why I even did it. I felt guilty and she could tell something was wrong. But the second time was much more serious. I was very attracted to a young girl I was working with – she was quite a bit younger than me and I think this really turned me on, that a girl 15 years younger than me was even showing interest in me was such an ego boost. Plus, my girlfriend had, temporarily at least, lost interest in sex. My girlfriend never found out but the guilt I felt was unbearable. Never again."

Writes Nick Charles on the site relationships.blog-city.com: "The uncovering of a partner's cheating can hit a woman with the impact of a runaway bus. But does it imply that the relationship is permanently at the end of the line? That depends, relationships authorities say.

As things (seem) to go, and if it turns out that a few buddies who have been adulterous aren't inevitably players but loving--if fallible--partners who drifted. Why does it occur? In the marketplace of lust, some men see a liaison as an impulse purchase. Subconscious motivations can temporarily make a sexual encounter appear too good to pass up. Only in hindsight do many substantiate the cost.

If your partner has cheated on you, it doesn't, as Charles points out, have to spell the end of the relationship, but it will permanently alter the dynamics…and it will take some time to rebuild the trust.