Do you start a weight loss program only to give up shortly thereafter?
There’s a big difference between wanting something: a thinner body, being more fit, etc. and actually creating it. The former, breaking it down into its most basic building blocks, is just a thought pattern while the latter requires taking physical next steps to move you in the direction of what you say you want.
In order to create a change, at the most fundamental level, somehow you will have first had to have acknowledged what it was that you didn’t want anymore. This is what you want to change. Most of us don’t do that though. Instead of neutrally acknowledging what we don’t want, we tend to judge ourselves (and our bodies) trying desperately to change ourselves into being something we’re not. Not only is this not a very graceful way to go about change, it also doesn’t work. Why? It doesn’t work because you’re tying up all your energy trying to not be something instead of using that same energy to move toward what you do want. It’s very subtle.
For example, in an ideal situation you might observe that your clothes are tight and in order for them to fit more loosely, you reason that you will have to release some weight. Normally we don’t word it quite like this. Normally we say (exaggerated for illustrative purposes) “Oh my, I’m getting really fat. I keep gaining weight. No diet is working.” And so on and so forth. You know what you want, but you end up focusing on what you don’t want which perpetuates the negative spiral effect.
Let’s look at how a baby learns to walk, i.e., making a change from not being able to walk to beginning to walk. A baby begins to walk by taking very small steps and it falls down a lot. But have you ever seen a baby fall down and give up and judge themselves for having fallen down, declare that they are giving up, and decide that they will never learn to walk because it’s impossible? It sounds absurd, doesn’t? What they do is they get back up until they learn to walk. They have a clear intention. In a way, your journey of releasing weight and improving an unfavorable body image is a metaphor for learning to walk again.
So here is the invitation: Take a minute right now and find something with which you would like to create a positive shift. Pick something that you are currently struggling with. Although we center on weight & body image, it doesn’t necessarily have to be focused on that. Think of something that you really would like to make a positive shift with, not because you think you should, but because you’d like to – anything. For some it might be weight, for others, it might be looking in the mirror and liking what you see. Whatever it is for you, let’s work with that. Have something to work with? Great!
What is the very next thing you could do to support yourself moving in that direction? There is no commitment to doing anything. Right now we’re just brainstorming. I’m not talking about the next, next, next step. I’m talking about --- the --- very --- next --- thing. There are as many possibilities as there ideas.
For example, let’s say that you’d like to become more fit but you haven’t exercised in years. What do you think your next step might be? Believe it or not, it’s not going out and exercising! The very next step might be to find your workout shoes buried in your closet and to put them in a place where you will see them. Once you know where they are, you can then choose another next step. This might be putting them on! If you don’t have any workout shoes, your next step might be deciding which store you want to shop at to get some. As you complete each next action, you move yourself one step closer to doing what you say you want. And I can pretty much guarantee that you will increase your energy, self-esteem, and general positive regard. This is a huge win!
If you haven’t found anything quite yet, that’s okay. Keep thinking! What could you shift in a positive way that would be supportive and nurturing for you? Find something so small that you can do it with very little effort. I started my weight release journey years ago by putting on my walking shoes and wearing them for five minutes and then taking them off again! Lasting change can start out small. After several weeks, before I ever went outside, I upgraded my commitment to walking around the house for five minutes! After quite a while I actually made it outside! So find something that is such a small change that it’s virtually a slam dunk to complete. Have some fun with this! I think at one point my positive shift was agreeing to eat only two rows of Oreo’s and not all three!
Have it yet? Great! Now ask yourself if what you have chosen as a next step is actually the very next step -- and if it’s not let’s take time to back up. Is there anything you would need to have, do, or be before taking this step? Continue drilling down until you reach something that is tangible and really easy to complete – so easy in fact, that it requires very little doing. As you begin this process, begin acknowledging yourself for all the things you are doing! You’ve set an intention and have begun working towards manifesting it!
Hopefully by this point you have taken the time to find something you’d like to shift and you know what your very next step is to moving in that direction. That’s it! You now have a tool now that can get you to where you say you want to go. It now comes down to choice. Now that you have identified what a next step might be for you in order to move forward, ask yourself whether you actually want to take that next step? For me, some days I do, and some days I don’t. I honor where I’m at since there is no use forcing me to do something that I don’t want to do. That doesn’t work either! If you don’t want to complete that next step you can find some great information by asking yourself why not? I sometimes leave my next steps on lists for months. The point here is that I know what my next step is, should I choose to take it.
The key is to acknowledge yourself for knowing what your next step is. Just knowing what it is can be quite freeing. Remember, small steps taken consistently over time produce large results!
Food for Thought “Nuggets”
Until next time, all the best,
Elaine Robinson
InnerSpect “Weight Release & Body Image” Coaching
Facilitating Healthy Weight Release & Positive Shifts in Body Image
http://www.innerSpect.net
P.O. Box 4092
Mountain View, CA 94040
(650) 938-1222
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