Does the World Need Love2Last?

Along with many of my friends and associates, I cannot help but look forward to this year with excitement while remembering the last year’s accomplishments. There will be more coaching programmes; helping couples improve their relationship; focusing on blended families and the second marriage issues; as well as launching more approaches to build up relations.

I am sure that 2015 will be my best year ever despite its pressures and hectic schedule that will stretch every inch of my courage and conviction.  Of course, it will be very tough for me to beat 2011 but I totally plan to do so.  The highlights of 2011 were my exquisite journey to Egypt, followed by the sale of my house, and three months later moving to Italy for 8 months.  However, the greatest part of 2011 was the formation of Love2Last.

I often wonder why people oftentimes appear to be glad that the old year has come and gone, yet many fail to learn from their mistakes and even identify the cause of such failures. Like children waiting for the ice-cream van to arrive to dish out their favourite flavours, they welcome each New Year with so much eagerness. This is exactly what others do with their marriages: leaving the previous relationship and entering into a new one without reflecting about what has been and what should be done this time around.

Looking back to 2014 is also an avenue for me to look through to 2011 when Love2Last was created. This reminds me clearly why I am devoted to Love2Last and why I strongly believe that the world needs our message right now.

The origins of marriage (the living of two people as one) can be traced back to 5000+ years ago whose main purpose was a business transaction, the prolongation of ancestry or survival.  Up until the late 19th century it was quite normal for at least one partner to pass away before their family was grown i.e. before they were 50.

Nowadays, we are living many lives that is having a key effect on relationships.  Consequently, we end up in situations when who we are and what we want at 20 has become very different to who we turn out to be at 50.  There seems to be an epidemic of women, in particular, leaving their long term relationship around 50 and starting a whole new life.

Western society is slowly moving away from the Hollywood picture of ‘happy families’ in recognising that we need to function differently and accepting that multi-family households are as much the norm as the two biological parent household is.

Even Hollywood has now cottoned on to this fact and is using the second marriage arena as a whole new source of material.  Look at the hugely successful TV series Modern Family and the 2013 movie The Way Way Back.  Whilst the list is getting longer (Yours Mine Ours, Stepmom, One Fine Day, The Parent Trap) there is still plenty of room to provide much needed ‘education’ for couples and families.

The Therapy industry (psychologists, counsellors, behavioural specialists, healers, etc.) has also started to recognise that second marriages and multifamily households (blended families) bring very unique challenges.  There are more and more specialists, websites and general help available to those who seek it. One area that I do not see much focus though, is the area of preparation and prevention.

Do couples go to pre-marriage courses before their second wedding anymore (especially if they are not associated with a church)?  Are there classes on how to bring families with children together in a caring manner that considers the individuals needs and personalities?  What about dealing with the ex-spouse, family, etc.? How about combining finances in a way that appeals to both couples’ value systems?

This is why I formed Love2Last, to help couples prepare for their very different life and ask the hard questions BEFORE they become issues.

TQM (Total Quality Management) took the business world by storm in the 1990s; this was about preventing errors happening, rather than traditional quality control that appraised products or services after they had been delivered.  It was also about understanding all the parties’ requirements in the delivery chain and not expecting less than 100%.

It seems to me that Love2Last is very much the TQM for relationships and families, to prevent issues before they erupt or become unmanageable, and even in some cases, averting a commitment that just should not happen.

Let’s cheer for a successful 2015 for all of us: a better relationship; harmonious blended families; exciting second marriage. Let us consider what we can personally do in our own situation to put off emotional and emotive part from staying suppressed until they explode like Vesuvius swamping Pompeii!