Who is Going to Do the Worrying?

Worrying is a part of every project and event and someone needs to be in charge of it.

Do you believe this is true?

Take the example of putting on an event. It’s a good example just because it’s visible and has a beginning and end. Like any project, there are many pieces to coordinate, but in this case the result is very public, right there for all attendees to experience and see.

As an event planner, you develop your muscles for tolerating the “unmanageable.” You learn what to do when a speaker gets sick at the last minute, a piece of equipment fails, the caterer is late, or the seating chart is defective. Then one day someone asks you to do an outdoor event and you hit the wall. The weather cannot be controlled. Ever.

You can look at weather charts, and should. I’m thinking of the friend of mine who planned an outdoor party in south Texas July 26th. It is so unlikely it would rain that day, it doesn’t even register on the scale, but of course for her it did. That’s why we come up with phrases like, “If you want it to rain, wash your car.” Nothing else could’ve cause it to rain in San Antonio on July 26th except Pat’s elaborate outdoor festival. (It happens.)

I started my event planning as a volunteer doing benefits for charities. The women (there were no men doing this) were all experienced and they weren’t about to let a novice head an important committee without working their way up the ranks. Therefore I started at the bottom. Too bad the apprentice-system doesn’t exist more widely in the corporate world. It’s a good one.

Well the first committee I worked on doing an outdoor event, the weather was discussed. We discussed under what circumstances we would have to cancel it, what the refund policy would be, would there be a rain-date, what contingencies needed to be considered. We were all still worried because the bottom line was if it rained, we could make very little money.

At the end of the committee meeting, the experienced chair said, “Oh and one more thing. Pat, I’m putting you in charge of worrying about the weather.”

What a freeing statement that was. One big thing for all the rest of us to take off our “worry list.” And also a wise and gentle way of saying worry doesn’t do any good. Do what you can, then let it go.

If you think back on it, you’ll probably find you aren’t very good at worrying. It’s never anything we anticipate, and usually something we could never have imagined. The most unlikely things can occur, and, being organized and emotionally intelligent people, we’ve generally attended to the things that are likely. I mean we clean out the gutters in the fall, get shots for the dog, rotate the tires on the car, and eat lots of broccoli.

Beyond that, you probably aren’t a good worrier, and, as I say to my clients, “Do you want to be?” Of course you don’t. Do what you can and then let it go. Focus your time and energy on something else that’s fruitful. Be attentive to what needs to be done, then enjoy the moment, and be forgiving of things that happen that are beyond your control or anyone else’s. I think there’s a song called, “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.” This is an emotionally intelligent way of life.