Should You Write a Letter to Your Ex Boyfriend? Why You Want to Avoid Doing This at All Costs

Should you write a letter to your ex boyfriend? It seems like a great idea, doesn't it? You two haven't talked much since the break up and that's difficult for you. You still think about him and in fact you have images of the two of you getting back together. You miss him and more than that you still really love him. Pouring your heart out in a letter seems like a perfect solution. You could take your time sharing what you feel and he'd then be able to read it and re-read it until he fully understood just how much you need him. It sounds like a great approach to take if you want him back, but it's not. You can actually ruin any chance you may have had of getting a man to want you back by writing him a letter.

As women we have this inner instinct that tells us that we must always share what we feel. It's something that comes naturally for us and in most cases it's helpful and contributes to the success of our relationships. There are instances when sharing every little thing isn't the best idea. After a break up is definitely one of those cases. You can actually push a man further away if you bury him beneath your own feelings. By pouring your heart out to him in a letter you're essentially forcing him to address and accept what you feel. If he's not ready for that, he'll look for the quickest exit out of your life forever.

In order to fully understand why this can be so damaging you have to consider what he's feeling. Even if your ex boyfriend was the one who dumped you and the break up was completely his idea, he still has to process what happened and work through all of his conflicting emotions. If he suddenly is confronted with a letter in which you tell him that you'll never love anyone the way you love him or you would do anything to get him back, he's going to feel even more overwhelmed than he did. Men withdraw when they feel this way and that means they create emotional distance. It's not uncommon for a man to ignore a letter like this and then never contact his ex again.

You'd make more headway with him if you actually did very little in the days and weeks following the break up. Giving him some space to process the break up and what he's feeling is a sign of respect and compassion. By acting mature and allowing him the opportunity to start to miss you, you're showing your ex that you can handle something as heart wrenching as the end of a relationship with dignity and grace. Just that fact alone will help to draw him back to you.