Jealousy. Resentment. Butterflies. Three emotions most guys have felt when thinking about the one that got away. These intense sensations are often heightened when faced with the prospect of seeing that special someone with another guy. But what do you do when you are confronted with this complex situation at a wedding?
Jealousy. Resentment. Butterflies. Three emotions most guys have felt when thinking about the one that got away. These intense sensations are often heightened when faced with the prospect of seeing that special someone with another guy. But what do you do when you are confronted with this complex situation at a wedding? It can turn into the Cold War if you let it. Pick your poison – Kennedy or Khrushchev?
So you’re at a buddies wedding and your first love shows up in the arms of another man. Even though you brought a date of your own she instantaneously becomes a Ukrainian escort who speaks limited English the minute you lay eyes on your former sweetheart. You have tunnel vision and a palpitating heart that won’t soon be soothed. You want to be the urbane gentleman with the equally attractive date but the site of seeing her with another man in the hora circle makes you want to plotz!
Here’s how to handle it:
1) First things first. As much as you want to shatter a bottle of Veuve Clicquot on the dudes head; refrain. Not only will you ruin your buddies wedding and spend the night in jail,
you’ll have sent a clear message that your ex made the right decision; probably the most crushing result of all.
2) Introduce yourself and be nice in the way Dalton from Roadhouse would “be nice.” Don’t show any signs of jealousy. Stand tall, be confidant, shake her dates hand, smile and look them both in the eye with ‘Jeterian’ self-assurance. You’re better prepared for the moment and your refined nature will show that you’ve moved on in life (don’t worry there will be chances to show your affection later on).
3) Introduce your date as your date – nothing more nothing less. Don’t make her sound like ‘The One’ to spite your ex and don’t make it sound like you granted her wish by taking her to the wedding either. Your body language will let your ex know that your date is merely an escort for the evening and not potential marriage material for you.
4) Through-out the night make subtle eye contact. Be sure to offer up that lovable smile of yours. If she smiles back, you’re back in the race. If she gives you that wry Simon Cowell what the heck are you smiling at / your date is a Meeskite grimace, pull the cord.
5) If step 4 proves to be a success, wait till her date goes to the bathroom or bar to grab a drink. Slyly step away from your date for a moment. This works best if you can get one of your boys to do a little chatting with your date while you go in for the kill.
6) Float your way towards your former flame. Remember that you have a limited time window so you must be fast and precise. Once encountered, let her know how great it is to see her and be sure to make physical contact, perhaps a soft touch of the hand or slight grab of the hip. This is very important. Let her know that you would love to get together for Lunch / Coffee / Tea sometime to recant old memories, but make it clear that you brought a date to this wedding and need to be getting back to her. This brief encounter leaves things open-ended and will keep her intrigued for the informal gathering on the horizon. Plus, it also shows how mature you can be by not embarrassing your date.
7) If step 6 passes with flying colors, you’ll be on a natural high. Use this to your advantage. Dance the rest of the night away to show you still know how to have fun and intermittently make eyes with the girl you still love.
8) At the end of the night, be sure to say goodnight to your ex and her date without tipping your hand too much. Keep calm…you’ve already chalked up a victory.
9) Within a few days of the wedding send a kite out to your ex about how great it was to see her and that you are looking forward to catching up over lunch / coffee / tea. A phone call works best, but email or text will suffice if you think there’s a risk you’ll mumble or slip some Freudian remarks.
If you complete these 9 steps you are definitely a disciple of The Wedding Ringer. Be confident, act with class, listen well, and respect your ex. If it was meant to be, it will happen.
