Toddlers Behavior – Normal Development and Behavior in Two to Three Year Olds.

Toddler’s can be delightful but they can also be extremely demanding and hard work. Toddlers behavior makes them feel and do lots of different illogical actions, Example: not want to be apart from their carers, want attention, are egocentric, active, impulsive and messy, constantly interrupt and show little respect, are stubborn and change their minds frequently, are sensitive to upset, excitement and tension, ask endless questions and may demoralise their parents but behave like angels for other people.

It is important to remember that this is also an exciting phase, as children develop physically, learn to think more logically and become more confident socially. They increasingly explore their surroundings, and learn though observation and interactions with their environment, social interactions and play. For this to happen, children of this age need plenty of stimulation such as:

• Books and toys appropriate for their age; these need not be expensive –pots, pans and spoons can be much more exciting to a two year old than a designer toy.

• A wide range of social contact with people of all ages, with the space, support and encouragement to develop mutually rewarding relationships.

• Exposure to new and interesting opportunities and experiences at a pace that they can cope with: contact with animals, music, water, nature, painting, parties etc.

Play, reality and fantasy.

Children learn through play- it is the medium through which they develop socially, physically and academically, by the age of three years, they should have a fully developed sense of `make believe `.

This is how they learn to exercise their imagination and creativity as well as to understand day-to-day and potentially traumatic experiences, such as going to the doctors or moving house. Pretend play lets them be the `boss` and regain control in a world where they usually have relatively little control, helping them cope with stressful situations in theirtoddlers behavior .

Parents who try to play with their children often unwittingly take over and set all the rules ,sometimes insisting that the game be played according to `reality` principles , However, such principles may be unrealistic for a young child , and most children quickly get demoralised and give up in this situation , if you can support your child’s play through observation , attention and praise , without taking over , giving advice or competing , they will take great pride in showing you how clever they are . This will not only encourage them to learn but will build their self-esteem and enhance their relationship with you. If, you can help your child have more control over their fantasy world, your child will be more cooperative and compliant with you in the real world.

The ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy develops with age intoddlers behavior; Young children may have difficulty remembering which parts really happened and which was part of the game. Similarly many three year olds may have an imaginary friend.

When your child is playing, you don’t have to be involved closely all the time, Although they will thrive on your undivided attention, they will also benefit from supportive comments while you work alongside them. Children want you to observe their progress and achievements. Your words can be very powerful in either direction, so it pays to stop and think about what you say and your tone of voice before you speak praise goes a long way in building and developing a positive relationship and willing child.

Exploration and experimentation

Toddlers need plenty of stimulation so that they can learn and develop. Even if they have many exciting toys, their curiosity will draw them to less safe areas, such as inside cupboards, lose wires and interesting looking bottles. This is not naughtiness but curiosity, especially if it is not made clear to them what is allowed and what is not. Very young children will not respond to being told not to touch, you can make things easier for yourself by `child proofing` certain areas, so that you can relax and let children explore in safety.

From early on, children want to become independent and do things themselves. They learn by repetitive experiments, so your two year old child may enjoy knocking things off their high chair repetitively and watching you pick them up each time, for your child this is a lesson in cause and effect and helps them to learn to think logically, this is not naughtiness, but normal exploration. Even so you may understandably find this kind of thing irritating and parents vary as to how much of these activities they can tolerate.

It is perfectly appropriate for you to set limits so that your child learns that their behavior is not tolerated in certain setting. You can set aside special times and places for this game, and distract the child into some other activity when you have had enough.

Understanding

Children need to have things explained to them at their own level of toddlers behavior understanding and therefore it is important to check that any task that you set for your child is manageable and appropriate to the stage of development that they are at currently and that they understand what you expect of them. Often what appears to be disobediences is simple misunderstanding. Repeating the same command louder won’t work in this situation, You need to try another approach.

Young children usually think you mean exactly what you say, if you were to lose your temper and make and idle threat to send them to a children’s home for example they will remember it and believe it , even if you have no such intentions! Similarly young children may not have a clear understanding of the difference between right and wrong so, although it is appropriate to teach them this , shouting and punishing them for bad behavior , without clear explanation , will only bewilder and upset them .

Clinginess

Most toddlers behavior in a clingy way, They are not being this way to irritate you, but are showing you how much they love and need you. Behaving in this way actually makes good sense as toddlers need constant supervision while exploring their environment because they don’t know what is safe and what is not. You have to watch their every move constantly to prevent accidents. They should become less clingy by the time they start nursery, as they learn to distinguish for themselves what is and what is not safe.

Children may become attached to cuddly toys or soft blanket, using them as comforters when the person they love is not present. From the child’s point of view, these objects are as individual and unique as people , so if they have a tantrum about losing an old worn out toy, offering to buy a new one will not be the same , if the toy can’t be found , you will need to comfort your child over the loss, rather than simply telling them not to be silly .

It is normal for toddlers to be fearful of new situations but excessive clinginess may be related to you being temporarily physically or emotionally unavailable to your child, for instance, because of hospitalisation, long working hours or depression, they maybe worried that you may have abandon them and may become more clingy as a result, if so shouting at them for behaving this away will only make matters worse. You are more likely to get results if you work on your relationship with your child, reassuring them that you love them and will not abandon them, and arrange for them to spend more time in the care of a trusted friend or relative. Giving them regular one to one time will help, even if brief, for example, a quick story before bedtime.

So sensitive parenting is a key to developing your toddlers behavior as you can have a close and trusting relationship is which you have a huge amount of power and influence as a parent that can help create resilience in your child whatever your current situation.