Intelligent conversation is one of life's pleasures. I love nothing better than to engage in conversation with someone who has ideas to share, different perspectives, and is interesting. An intelligent conversation is food for the brain. All too sadly, not everyone can carry on an intelligent conversation. This has less to do with their intelligence quotient (IQ) than with their emotional quotient (EQ). Only a self-aware, self-confident person with excellent social skills has the ability to engage in intelligent conversation.
Intelligent conversation happens when people come together with a win/win attitude, don't try to change anyone's opinion, and are open to new ideas. Intelligent conversation is the bridge to greater understanding. People engage in intelligent conversation for no other reason but to explore, discover, and learn. There is no other agenda.
People who struggle with, or cannot hold, an intelligent conversation come with an agenda. They want to thrust their ideas onto others, get their point across, and will resort to personal attacks if necessary. They come with a win/lose mentality and are not interested in learning and discovering. His or her idea is the only one that matters, and anyone who doesn't agree is a threat. Intelligent conversation with these types of people is impossible and dangerous.
There are times when we can be in the middle of what we think is an intelligent conversation and discover that we are not. Don't try to deal rationally with such a person. It won't work. Their only concern is themselves and their ideas. If they feel threatened in any way, they will attack. The best thing you can do is remove yourself from the discussion. It is possible to continue the conversation - only now it won't be an intelligent one.
Don't assume that everyone wants an intelligent conversation. There are people who are not capable. That doesn't mean that you won't be able to converse with them. It just means that the conversation will be shallow and meaningless, which can be alright at times. Not every conversation has to be enlightening.
There Are Always More Nos Than Yeses
Although it may not seem true, if we think about it, we will come to realize that there are always more nos than yeses. We will be turned down more often than not. The good news is that the more nos we get the more the yeses will increase. It is a numbers game. The more often we ask the more our chances of success increase.
Don't Be Jealous - Be Inspired
When we see people do things we cannot do, or have things we don't have, it might be tempting to be a little jealous. But, jealousy doesn't lead to anything except resentment, and that isn't going to help you. Instead of being jealous of others, focus on being inspired. Let the success of others move you forward toward your own success. After all, people who are doing things you want to do or have things you want are examples of what is possible for you.
Commit to Doing 80%
Instead of trying to be perfect, it is better to do your best, and often your best doesn't look like going all out all the time. This is especially true when you are making changes in your life. Instead of setting yourself up for disappointment and failure, allow yourself some room to breathe and not be perfect. Life is a process and it takes time, so commit to doing your best 80% of the time and implement the new change slowly, but consistently.
