Babe Magnet

On the Pull

Look for ‘Shiny’ Eyes

If she’s gazing up at you with twinkly eyes that seem to sparkle with excitement, it’s highly likely that she’s interested in you. Chances are you’ve aroused her emotions – with a bit of luck, something like passion or adoration.

The way it works is this: intense feeling causes the tear glands to secrete fluid but if the emotions aren’t intense enough to produce tears and an overflow, the liquid pools instead. Excess moisture causes light to bounce more easily off the eyeball, making the eyes ‘dance’ and look more attractive. This response can’t be faked either, so glistening eyes are a good indicator you’re having an effect on her. Be warned though, fear, stress and discomfort manifests in exactly the same way so, as always, look for other signs that she fancies you.

Take a Visual Voyage

It doesn't matter how much of a good sort you are, if someone locks eyes with us for too long at a time, most of us feel like a butterfly with its wings pinned. Thing is, it's rather easy to become mesmerized when you're gazing at someone who's so damn sexy, you're practically dribbling. Fix it by forcing yourself to feast on the entire spread laid in front of you - in other words, take a visual voyage. As you're chatting to her, take time to check out her cute nose, the curve of her cheek, neck, and shoulders. Hover around her hairline, look at her earlobes, caress her entire face with your eyes. The trick to making your target feel admired rather than minutely examined is to make sure you keep the visual voyages short - flick back to her eyes for long seconds in between. Later, when all systems are go and you're ready to move it forwards into a kiss, it's OK - and even desirable - to make it obvious you're studying every part of her. On the topic of staring though...

Gaze, don't Stare

Initially, a flirty ‘I think you're a bit of alright’ look should only last the time it takes you to say it out loud. In the beginning, you're playing a game of ‘I see you, do you see me too?’, using your eyes to signal a quick expression of interest. (It's only later that longer periods of eye contact come into play.) Pay attention here guys because this is when it can all go horribly wrong. Stares can easily be mistaken for glares and there's a crucial difference between gazing and staring. When we gaze, our face is softer. Dreamy eyes, a half smile, and slightly lowered eyelids all indicate we're floating off into daydreams about the person we're looking at. A stare is much harder: a set, stern mouth, lips pressed together, wide, unblinking eyes, and an unwavering expression all mean you're curious or fascinated by what you're looking at...but not necessarily in a good way. The thing is, what feels like a gaze from your end can look like a stare/glare from theirs because of our individual mannerisms and face shapes. If you're worried your come-on look is killing your chances, grab a mirror and see for yourself. If your gaze seems too hard, imagine you're looking at the person you adore most in the world and watch your eyes and face instantly soften, open, and relax. Restrict your gazes to no longer than five-second bursts until you're almost at kissing stage...then feel free to lock eyes (and limbs) for as long as you like.

Test they're Flirting with You

If you're pretty sure they fancy you, up the stakes by very obviously making a play. Whisper something in their ear and let your lips touch their cheek as you're doing it, pull back, and make gooey eyes. Use every trick in the book to make it obvious you think they're sex on legs. If they're interested, they'll mirror you by increasing the intensity of their flirting. If they're not - or they're flirting without intent (having fun but don't plan on taking it further) - they'll tone down their advances or stop flirting. You made it clear it was crunch-time -make a move or move on - and they've responded.

On a Date

Value Yourself

You know what it's like: you open a birthday present and instantly think ‘Yuk!’ You'd asked for a new wallet and that you got, but this one looks decidedly tacky. Shiny leather, childish stitching, a garish color - it's got ‘return me’ written all over it. ‘I hope you like it because it cost a fortune,’ beams the giver, ‘It's a designer label. [Insert name of famous popstar] has one apparently...’ Before your very eyes, the wallet transforms: the shine suddenly oozes street cred, childish becomes artistic, and what was going straight back to the shop suddenly goes straight into your pocket. Its called perception: if we perceive something as expensive, it becomes valuable.

Do your own designer branding by placing a value on your own worth: in other words, act like you're worth a billion and she'll see you that way as well. I'm not talking about pretending you're wealthy or acting like you're way out of her league. I'm talking about behaving as though you're well and truly worthy of her affection. Which you are. The trick to pulling it off? Be attentive but not 24/7 available; pay compliments but keep her guessing.

That all sounds complicated, but it's dead easy if you follow one simple rule: don't shut out the rest of your life just because she's in it. That way, your friends/work/life will naturally intrude on your time and you won't be there to return every phone call seconds after she's called or see her every time she clicks her fingers. The second bit of sneakery: load on the ‘I think you're great’ flattery without telling her how much you seriously like her. In other words, keep it as a general compliment (‘You've got such a great smile’), rather than a protestation of love (‘Every time you smile my heart flip-flops’). Lay on the lines too fast, too thick, too early, and they'll all seem meaningless. Later, she'll kill to hear them.

Track her Down

Calling up to say, ‘How did that meeting go?’ rather than the usual ‘How are you?’ will put you light-years ahead of the competition. If you can't remember half the stuff she rattles on about, take notes. Seriously. Write things like ‘Ask if Sarah's sister had baby’ and ‘S goes to doctor today’ in your diary. Refer to it. If you're dead keen this should come naturally but sometimes the opposite happens - you're so nervous about getting everything else right, you forget the obvious. It's called tracking and it shows you've been listening and you care.

Avoid an Argument

You've had a few great dates and now this. As far as you're concerned, it's crystal clear you're right and she's wrong. Sadly, she's behaving as though you're talking in tongues (and not the sort she usually likes) and can't seem to get your point at all. If this happens to you, do something (anything) to get her moving. The quickest way to budge a mind lock is to get someone to change their body position. If she's sitting down, invent a reason for her to get up and walk around the room. If she's standing, get her to sit down. When our body is in a fixed position, our mind becomes frozen as well. There's no easier way to snap someone out of something than to get them to move.

Capture the Moment

The opposite is also true. If you're locked together in a moment so intimate, you're afraid to breathe lest you ruin it, you're wise to grit your teeth and hang on (no matter how desperate the urge to pee). Get the timing wrong by ‘abandoning’ her - lean back, leave to go to the bathroom, attract the attention of the waitress for another drink - and you may well lose the opportunity to move the relationship onto a deeper and more intense level.