New Year’s Intentions - Part I

We’re still a couple of week’s away from the beginning of 2006 but I’d like to bring up the idea of New Year’s Resolutions and to have you begin thinking about them and how they work. 

There’s a philosophy that exists which talks about letting go of the old and bringing in the new. We often times reflect about this at the end of the year when we think of making our New Year’s Resolution to harness this new energy. After all, a new year with new hopes and aspirations is offered to us. We are encouraged and optimistic because we can wipe the slate clean and start over on January 1st. We let ourselves and our behavior off the hook one time per year and we give ourselves the permission to do this by making a New Year’s Resolution which, when we make it, we are resolutely determined to keep.  

Even as short as a few weeks later our behavior begins saying something differently.  We aren’t so resolute and we often begin unconsciously saying to ourselves, “New Year’s What??” A subtle and almost imperceptible feeling of disappointment wells up within us for not keeping our word. We quickly bury this feeling in our subconscious (often times with food) which then allows us to get back to business as usual because it’s the end of January and it’s months away before we can give ourselves permission to let ourselves off the hook again. It’s best to just not think about it. 

Does this sound like a pattern of yours, even if it is slightly exaggerated? If you don’t make a New Year’s resolution, can you recognize the pattern other times of the year when you say you’ll do one thing and you don’t follow through or keep your word with yourself? 

The good news is that can you shift this pattern, however it shows up for you. 

Let’s take a look at the several ways you can start re-wiring this self-sabotaging pattern. 

First, begin giving yourself permission to let yourself off the hook more than just on January 1st. I’m not talking about what I call a spiritual bypass. I’m talking about the times you were on the horse, genuinely fell off of it, you see the learning and where you can apply it, and you get back on the horse again. This happens to me a lot. What I’m not talking about is falling off the horse, mouthing the words of forgiving yourself, and consciously repeating the same behavior over and over. There is a big difference. There is a saying that goes something along the lines of you only make a mistake if you learn nothing from it. 

Another way you can re-wire this type of pattern is to only make a resolution in which you intend to keep. Otherwise, just don’t make one! Seriously, this way you won’t disappoint yourself and you won’t have to forgive anything because you haven’t made any resolutions in the first place! This is a perfectly viable option. 

Lastly, you could consider changing how you create or make a New Year’s Resolution. We all like to win, right? So, word it in a way that you can win at it. I do this by taking a look at what words mean, and then changing words so that they resonate within. 

Let’s take a look at the definitions of the words, Resolution, Agreement, and Intention. Using the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, here is the word “resolution,” defined: 

Resolution: 1 : the act of answering : SOLVING c : the act of determining 2 : the subsidence of a pathological state (as inflammation) 3 a : something that is resolved <made a resolution to mend my ways> b : firmness of resolve 

The question that I have when I read this definition is how can I have something already resolved when I have just declared it as something that I want to make a positive change in? It’s as if I are already have to have this New Year’s Resolution completed before I even get started on it! That seems like a recipe for failure if I ever heard one! 

I work with agreements a lot both personally and professionally and when I hear the word resolution, it often reminds me of the word “agreement.” Here is Merriam-Webster’s definition for “agreement.” 

Agreement: 2 a : an arrangement as to a course of action b : COMPACT, TREATY

3 a : a contract duly executed and legally binding b : the language or instrument embodying such a contract. 

There doesn’t seem to be much wiggle room, or room for error, does there? A contract that is legally binding? Is this how we hold it inside ourselves as well? Do you hold your New Year’s Resolution inside yourself as an agreement? 

If you do hold your New Year’s Resolution as an agreement inside yourself, would you be willing to play around with the meanings of words? Would you consider making a New Year’s Intention instead? 

Let’s see what Merriam-Webster has to say for the word “intention.” 

Intention: 1 : a determination to act in a certain way : RESOLVE 2 : IMPORT, SIGNIFICANCE. 3 a : what one intends to do or bring about suggests clearer formulation or greater deliberateness <the clear intent of the statute>. 4 a.: an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. 

Can you see the difference between the different words? I experience it as a difference in ‘energy.’ What I mean by that is taking notice of my body’s reaction as I read the definition of each of these words. When I read resolution, I’m feeling that I need to have something resolved already before I begin it and that makes me feel confused. When I think of agreement, I feel there is no room for error and I feel a bit tensed or stressed. When I read the definition of intention, I feel as if I do have room to learn and to grow, that I can make a mistake and learn from it. I don’t need to beat myself up if I make a mistake. I feel that I am creating greater deliberateness with my own fitness and body image. Make sense? 

If you are one for making New Year’s Resolutions, I invite you to consider making a New Year’s Intention instead. 

When you make a New Year’s Intention, you are giving yourself permission to grow and learn. You are aware that falling off the horse expresses your humanness as well as your being able to brush the dust off and get back on the horse. There is no absolute or fear of failure. You are sharing that you are bringing about greater deliberateness and when you don’t you will recognize your humanness, give yourself mass doses of compassion and continue with clearer formulation. You won’t be legally putting yourself in a bind according to the definition of agreement! 

As you begin to wind down your year and make room for a refreshing new beginning, I invite you to consider making a New Year’s Intention as a replacement to the New Year’s Resolution. 

Food for Thought “Nuggets”

• You can update a pattern of self-sabotage by moving from New Year’s Resolutions to a New Year’s Intention. 
• The word intention as opposed to resolution or agreement allows for our humanness. It gives us a different way of being with ourselves. 
• When you make a New Year’s Intention, you are giving yourself permission to grow and learn.

Until next time, all the best, 

Elaine Robinson

InnerSpect “Weight Release & Body Image” Coaching

Facilitating Healthy Weight Release & Positive Shifts in Body Image 

http://www.innerSpect.net 

P.O. Box 4092

Mountain View, CA 94040

(650) 938-1222