Let’s get deep!

Many people like somebody because they are attractive, smart, and funny. Or perhaps you are impressed by their accomplishments or career.

Below is a list of 10 additional topics to discuss before you commit to a long-term relationship (LTR)

1. Do you want kids, when, and how many?  Do not start this conversation after you have been together for many years.
2. Do your religious views line up and is this even important to you two?  Sometimes, couples can truly respect each other's beliefs even if one person disagreed.   But more often than not, not agreeing on fundamental beliefs like religion can cause conflict!
3. Do your political views line up and is this even important to you two?  Focus less on if your political parties line up, and instead scrutinize what you believe and, even more importantly, why you believe certain things.   Often times, political views can be a label for your life philosophy.  Do not get caught up in the semantics of party names.
4. Do you want traditional gender roles, progressive rolls, or something in between?  it is easy to talk the talk while you are dating, but dig deep into what your future spouse will want you to do day-to-day.
5. Do you prefer to live paycheck to paycheck or is saving and financial security important?  It is often said that money, sex, and power are powerful topics that can sometimes rip apart a LTR.  Have a mutually agreed upon plan about your finances...and then stick to it!

6. Is there an equal power dynamic or is there a constant competition.  Remember, you are both on the same team.  You should be each others biggest fan.  Criticism is only useful is it helps the other person grow and learn.  Someone once said, "you don't want to be married to a looser, so don't make your partner a looser".

7. Is there mutual respect? Do you calmly listen to each others ideas, emotions, and boundaries?
8. Do you both want to live in the same geographic area?  Often times, where you live defines your lifestyle.  Talk about it!
9. Do you want an open house, a closed house, or something in between? In other words, will you have family and friends over constantly or only by invitation?  From looking at many relationships, there are many introvert/ extrovert marriages.  It is important for both people to be comfortable in their own environment.
10. Is one of you a night person and one of you a day person? How will you juggle these differences?

These questions are a great place to start when your beautiful and fun relationship takes a more serious turn.  Remember, it is better to be single than to be in an unhappy relationship.  And, anything worth having is worth working for...