BDSM – Separating Fact From Fiction

It certainly isn’t as though you can ask your friends and relatives, “Do you know a great BDSM site where I can meet people just like me?” Although it is seen primarily as a fetish, the word alone lends the impression there is something morally reprehensible about your interest. There isn’t.

Of course there are people who seek to practice BDSM as a fetish and as such are likely to use some form of bondage or sadomasochism for the purposes of sexual power over his or her partner. The difference between the occasional practitioner and those who see it as a lifestyle is that the lifestyle group is more likely to incorporate it into their every day relationship. Both are acceptable, provided only one thing – each, whether a Dom or submissive, is doing so consensually.

If There’s Nothing Wrong With It, Why Do You Have to Hide Your Interest?

As with everything not considered “normal” sex, BDSM is largely misunderstood and often lumped into categories that imply practitioners are sick or perverted. Like a great many things, what people have no understanding of or what they consider to be abnormal, they will label it sick, twisted or perverted. We see this in how humans react to people of a different religion or culture. What is seemingly foreign, whether it’s ritual surrounding cleansing and blessing food, using certain spices in one’s cooking or rites of passage such as tattooing, xenophobia is not relegated or unique to any particular aspect of human behavior. People are raised with a specific set of morays and beliefs and understanding what is deemed acceptable, As such, few have the ability to look outside of their upbringing to understand and accept, let alone explore for themselves. And so a label is slapped onto anything that doesn’t make sense.

This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you! It just means you may have to use alternate avenues to find answers, meet people with similar interests and if need be, answer questions you have about BDSM. What is also means is that you must use caution when sharing with your friends and family that you are into the BDSM lifestyle. While this is wholly unfortunate, it is the way society functions.

How Do You Meet People Just Like Yourself?

This answer is not nearly as problematic as admitting to your friends and family that you are seemingly different from them. Indeed you have long discovered that you can’t blurt out at a social gathering that you take part in BDSM, lest you wish to be shunned. You also figured out that you aren’t able to strike up conversation hoping to elicit advice on where to meet other people like yourself. However, thanks to the Internet, you aren’t as lost as you may have been 100 years ago or even 20 years ago. 

While for the moment you may feel alone and fear being ostracized for your interests, by simply letting your fingers do the walking, you will find yourself introduced to numerous people who share your same interests. Ironically, despite the stigma attached that those into the BDSM lifestyle are twisted, who you will meet are normal every day people – doctors, lawyers, teachers, business people, dancers, writers, artists, you name it. In other words, those who take part in BDSM span all intellectual, socioeconomic, cultural even religious backgrounds. Again, whether you are looking for a long-term partner to incorporate your Dom or submissive/slave desires into most every aspect of your relationship or meet someone who can allow you to act out your sexual desires to be a Dom or an submissive/slave, you are a literally a click away from both.

Whether you are an avid practitioner of the BDSM lifestyle or you are new to the idea, finding people just like yourself can be a lonely path to walk. It certainly isn’t as though you can ask your friends and relatives, “Do you know a great BDSM site where I can meet people just like me?” Although it is seen primarily as a fetish, the word alone lends the impression there is something morally reprehensible about your interest. There isn’t.

Of course there are people who seek to practice BDSM as a fetish and as such are likely to use some form of bondage or sadomasochism for the purposes of sexual power over his or her partner. The difference between the occasional practitioner and those who see it as a lifestyle is that the lifestyle group is more likely to incorporate it into their every day relationship. Both are acceptable, provided only one thing – each, whether a Dom or submissive, is doing so consensually. 

If There’s Nothing Wrong With It, Why Do You Have to Hide Your Interest?

As with everything not considered “normal” sex, BDSM is largely misunderstood and often lumped into categories that imply practitioners are sick or perverted. Like a great many things, what people have no understanding of or what they consider to be abnormal, they will label it sick, twisted or perverted. We see this in how humans react to people of a different religion or culture. What is seemingly foreign, whether it’s ritual surrounding cleansing and blessing food, using certain spices in one’s cooking or rites of passage such as tattooing, xenophobia is not relegated or unique to any particular aspect of human behavior. People are raised with a specific set of morays and beliefs and understanding what is deemed acceptable, As such, few have the ability to look outside of their upbringing to understand and accept, let alone explore for themselves. And so a label is slapped onto anything that doesn’t make sense.

This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you! It just means you may have to use alternate avenues to find answers, meet people with similar interests and if need be, answer questions you have about BDSM. What is also means is that you must use caution when sharing with your friends and family that you are into the BDSM lifestyle. While this is wholly unfortunate, it is the way society functions. 

How Do You Meet People Just Like Yourself?

This answer is not nearly as problematic as admitting to your friends and family that you are seemingly different from them. Indeed you have long discovered that you can’t blurt out at a social gathering that you take part in BDSM, lest you wish to be shunned. You also figured out that you aren’t able to strike up conversation hoping to elicit advice on where to meet other people like yourself. However, thanks to the Internet, you aren’t as lost as you may have been 100 years ago or even 20 years ago. 

While for the moment you may feel alone and fear being ostracized for your interests, by simply letting your fingers do the walking, you will find yourself introduced to numerous people who share your same interests. Ironically, despite the stigma attached that those into the BDSM lifestyle are twisted, who you will meet are normal every day people – doctors, lawyers, teachers, business people, dancers, writers, artists, you name it. In other words, those who take part in BDSM span all intellectual, socioeconomic, cultural even religious backgrounds. Again, whether you are looking for a long-term partner to incorporate your Dom or submissive/slave desires into most every aspect of your relationship or meet someone who can allow you to act out your sexual desires to be a Dom or an submissive/slave, you are a literally a click away from both.